Tuesday 22 January 2013

Match of the Day - Why it's so crap

Match of the Day needs some radical surgery. The tried and tested formula of  the past is now so intrinsically banal that it brings the football viewer to an inevitable state of comatose.

We have the jester, Lineker, who tries to bring an element of humour to the show almost sounded apologetic for any stats and information of note that he has to deliver. Added to this is his regular word play which aims to raise the odd smile and his only other role in the usual Holy Trinity is to lead the other pundits into speaking their thoughts on the game with such gems as 'so Alan, what went wrong?'. Then we have Lawrenson, Shearer and Hansen usually picking out the odd squiggle here and there and suggesting that the lad 'should have finished that'. Hansen by definition now will raise one or two defensive howlers to protest that defenders aren't what they used to be. Lawrenson looks about as energised as my 70 year old mother's rampant rabbit.

In short, it's the same fucking thing every week. And it's been the same thing each and every week for the past x years. 

Colin Murray has been axed as presented of MOTD2 and in his place is Mark Chapman, probably brought in to just host and let the others have their say. Murray does sound a little too radio orientated for such a football show, but at least there was some spark with him in terms of giving his opinion and baiting the others into action. Something which is just not present in the current form,.

And then there's the layout, with Lineker sitting to the left and the muppets sitting cross legged, relaxed with just a cappuccino and pink slippers missing to be totally at home, on the right. The whole thing needs a shakedown.

What I want in this day and age is total stats from all angles. I want to know what makes a defensive midfielder who apparently does very little in the game so good. I want some insight into why managers did what they did, and the tactical fallout on both sides as a result. I want to see where teams attacked the most, at what times in the game, and I want to see individual passing/shooting/dribbling contributions from those best selected.

More than that, I want there to be proper nitty gritty debate between the pundits. I want the host to play devil's advocate and challenge their views. I want there to be cross-debate so we need people in there that can argue and counter argue points made. There has to be a more interactive layout away from the static scene as it currently is. 

And I don't want any 'tick the boxes' anchors, so that rules out the omnipresent Balding and Logan from getting anywhere near the show. Get some people in there with character, in depth knowledge of stats and cause a bit of controversy. You know, challenge Ferguson when he's pushing linesmen over, call a player a downright cheat, say that the ref had a shocker and praise when he had a great game. 

This whole area of political correctness across the board has to stop. John Champion for example was forced to apologise for calling Suarez a cheat, when clearly you could argue that he was in that instance. Suarez has the right of reply of course. But at least everyone is forced out of their comfort zone. MOTD needs a radical overhaul and for that to happen you need new technology, new faces and new techniques to dissect a football match. This current happy go lucky jobs for the boys shit just doesn't sit well any more. It's time for a total revamp. 

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